๐ŸŽ Gifts to Get Your Startup Bestie

๐ŸŽ Gifts to Get Your Startup Bestie

Hey Pals,

Welcome back to the Kernal Newsletter: the friend that doesn't judge you for ghosting us b/c we know you're hustling your Xmas cards to clients ๐Ÿ“ฌ

Latest news: world cup finals are Sunday, SBF (aka the #1 person not to lend your crypto to) got arrested in the Bahamas, Meghan and Prince Harry had a big drop on Netflix, location tracking Twitter accounts (like @ElonJet) got banned, Trump launched a xmas fundraiser NFT collection, an unnamed startup launched a dope partnership with Yep.so anddddd there's 9 days till Christmas.

Our hearts go out to the CPG founders hustling their butts off this week. As Kernaler Bruce Willis would say in our favourite Christmas movie: "Yippee ki yay manufacturing founders".

You're swimming in 50 unread emails, so let's toss on our Yellowstone saddle and giddy up๐Ÿ‘‡

Today's Michelin Star Menu:

  • ๐ŸŽ Founder gifts you need to know about
  • ๐Ÿ‘€ Help us build our Kernal premium strategy
  • ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Startup ideas that'll make you pause
  • ๐Ÿ˜Ž Klever Kernal memes

Meet Trends.vc: the insanley helpful reports read by 54,000+ founders to find new startup opportunities every day. They also scored 3,024 upvotes on ProductHunt if you need a clout check. Trends.vc has a holiday speicial granting 70% OFF to anyone that buys their Essentials Report. We loved the deal so much we got it ourselves. Reply to this email for a screenshot if you wanna call our bluff. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Snag a Trends.vc Essentials Report

๐ŸŽ 5 Clever Gifts That'll Fit Your Budget

Let's not beat around the bush. It's hard to buy for anyone, let alone a founder. They have:

  • bills to pay ๐Ÿ’ธ
  • jets to board โœˆ๏ธ
  • and decks to send โœ‰๏ธ

But since we know startup founders as well as cookies know milk we got your back. If you have a co-founder, spouse or neighbour that you need to buy for, you're in the right hands.

Let's take a looksie at the advice, shall we? ๐Ÿฅ

P.S. We split each category by budget range, starting with the least expensive and scrolling to the most.

1. Friends and Family Round Budget (๐Ÿš€)

If you love Kernal ideas, you'll love Kernels popcorn. It pairs perfectly with a corny hallmark movie or 3 hours of tik tok videos (you said you wouldn't watch before bed). If you have a tight budget, this is guaranteed to get a kind nod from your accountant for spending responsibly.

2. Pre-Seed Budget (๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’ธ)

When you're WFH trying to bring an idea to product market fit, having fun swag that makes people laugh on a video call goes a longggg way. Our friends at Liquidity have just the collection to do the trick. Honour your investors' cheque by shopping in the $10-$100 range this Christmas.

3. Series A Budget (๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ )

It's common for tech founders to liquidate some equity in the Series A to B stage. So as you prep to get more $$$ in the bank, keep a lookout for that perfect heli-ski trip to treat your day-one supporters. That first client, that first investor, that fire hire. Go surprise 'em b/c they've been with you long before TechCrunch had you on their front page.

4. Unicorn Budget (๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿฆ„ )

After you hit that $1b mark, the budget gains a few more zeroes. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you reply to 1/10 cold emails from young hustlers trying to build there podcast cred. With a unicorn budget, we recommend home shopping in Malibu. It's great for hosting startup retreats or family weekends. New York can get a bit too rainy for IG stories at times so our Unicorn friends find this spot as the perfect escape.

5. Billionaire Budget (๐Ÿ›ณ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ›ณ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ›ณ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ›ณ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ›ณ๐Ÿ’ธ)

If you're a shopper that sold their bitcoin at justttt the right time, you could easily qualify for the Billionaire Budget zone. And while you're at it, fill out our Kernal premium survey since you probably have time dollars to drop. If you want to surprise your startup bestie with a gift they'll never forget, we couldn't more highly recommend allocating $50m to buy a Utopia IV. We've never seen or tested one, but the photos look sublime.

*DISCLOSURE: it's important to note, we're not as sophisticated as you think and we get absolutely ZERO comission benefit from you clicking on the christmas list above. This items were spun up at 1 am last night for your pure enjoyment. But if you do buy any products, we'd love a selfie of you with the new toy.

Tell Kernal I pre-ordered the Utopia Yacht

If you were our secret Santa, we'd ask you for one thing. And that's your honest 2 cents on a new survey we spun up. We're try to finalize our Kernal Premium strategy for 2023 and would love your input. ๐Ÿš€

We also dropped something kinda big earlier this week: a partnership with Yep.so. WTF should you care? Great question startup pal.

B/c now with any startup idea you can now spin up a landing page right within your Kernal page. Exibit A below:

Pretty helpful eh? Click here to get a full run through of the feature or tap below to help us build more cool features like this for founders.

Help Kernal with their 60 sec Survey

๐ŸŽ New Startup Ideas ๐ŸŽ

Imagine there was a service that showed you any person's most followed items and then gives you a roadmap to position your message to that person. Would you pay for this?

Hell Yeah I'd pay for this

Lubhanshi is pitching a different pitch practice in the Gen Z VC group

Get Your Tix Here

Christopher is erasing the need to take 9 shirts to the dressing room at once.

Hate Returns? Show your Support Here

If you're not subscribing to Elaine's 3Thing Newsletter, are you even an entrepreneur? 

Honest Communication from Honest Upvotes

Share Your Startup Idea

โšก๏ธStartup Zingers of the Week

Thanks to Nico from Failory for the zingers. Sign up to read his newsletter
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๐Ÿ† Tweets of the Week

9 days till Christmas. Stop reading and start shopping. If you seriously need tips on gifts, we had this really nice staff member spin up a list of reasonable startup gifts without the mems.

Hope today's writing gave you a smile. If it did, smash that 11/10 below because it fuels my enneagram type 3 mindset to keep working late into the night digging up the best jokes for you. If it was boring sauce, tap that and I'll go put my head in box of ice this weekend.

๐Ÿ’š The Kernal Fam

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